1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
