Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
