Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
