The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
