The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
