i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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