I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
