Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
