she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
