ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
