I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
