So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
They are going to name an STD after you.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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