why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My pussy is not your playground.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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