Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
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