woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize