KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Houston, we have a blender
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
