so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Don't tell me you're on acid again
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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