My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you didnt know i had herpes?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
he had hair everywhere except his balls
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
