dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
