Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
