So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
