I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
