Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
