I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
