You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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