love makes seman taste better
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
