I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
