i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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