So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
