I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
