If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
