babies were throwing up all over the place
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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