please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
