Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
