I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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