My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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