You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
