So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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