Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
