Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
