Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
