i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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