don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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