Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
