She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Randomize
