): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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