people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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