porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Never underestimate the power of titties
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
