I just made out with a guy for $7.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
