And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize