just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
