My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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