I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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