There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Randomize
