Im at strip club and am horny
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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