Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
false alarm. still invincible.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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