Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
