So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
