are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
