Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You know, be my cock's hype man.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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