I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
i out mim tonsoeep
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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