two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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