i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you win again, gameday.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
