OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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